O dear dear Ellen Degeneres! How I absolutely love her! She’s witty and hilarious and I love her talk show! I’m one of those many Youtubers that can spend hours on her channel just watching all of her clips and laughing my life away! It’s always fun to realize that you’ve been watching Youtube clips for like five hours! Contributing to society can be for the overachievers! Give me a couch and a laptop and something sugary and I'm a happy person! I think I got off topic…let’s see…yep I’m back!
Seriously…I’m Kidding is HILARIOUS! I was seriously excited to read it...and I'm not kidding! I was up reading into the late hours of the night just giggling at different passages. By the way have you ever noticed that when you are laughing out loud at a book you kind of appear to be a crazy person! Like if someone can’t see the book in your hand you are just a person sitting on a couch laughing to herself/himself. So make sure if you pick this up you have the book held high so people can see what you’re reading! J I loved so many different chapters in this book! The first one I loved was her chapter full of her “journal entries”. For example one of the entries says,
“March 15, 2010
I’m on a sugar cleanse. I haven’t had any sugar in over three weeks. I think I’m experiencing withdrawal. Today I screamed at a plant. I don’t know why I decided to do this. It’s crazy. There’s sugar in everything. Did you know that? Everything. Even cupcakes. All right, I have to go, Journal. You’re being a jerk.”
I feel the exact same way about sugar Ellen! See I knew we were supposed to be friends. Or maybe we are in some bizarre spirit life! Maybe we could both be fish in this other life and just keep swimming together…hmmmm that sounds a little bit like Finding Nemo. Anyway, my other favorite chapter was called How to Be a Supermodel. It’s the following-
“Since I am a CoverGirl, I thought if any of you are interested in learning a little bit about modeling I could offer you some tips. I’ve sashayed down plenty of catwalks in my day-well, one. But I know what it takes to make an impression. So here are some suggestions, as long as you are willing to be fierce.
One: The Look
Always look like you’re angry at the universe for making you too pretty.
Two: The Walk
Trot. Aggressively, like you’re a horse that’s trying to avoid puddles.
Three: The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.
Four: The Pout
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like your trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.
Five: The Pose
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, “I’m so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don’t know.”
Six: The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.
Now put it all together. Trot! Squint! Get the straw! Who’s a pretty girl? You are. Keep trotting!” –pg. 12
What great advice she gives! What wisdom! I always thought she was smart! So in closing I’m going to leave you with some “serious” words of wisdom and maybe a few of my absolute favorite Ellen clips! Enjoy!
“So in conclusion and in summary and summation and to wrap things up in a way that will bring things to a close before we say good-bye in a conclusiatory fashion, let me leave you with these parting words: Be happy. Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. Do things that make you feel good and proud. It can be almost anything. Name something. Yes, sure, try that. Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help someone with directions unless you have a terrible sense of direction. Help someone who’s trying to help you. Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care. Say yes instead of no. Say something nice. Smile. Make eye contact. Hug. Kiss. Get naked. Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, “I can’t tell if that person is laughing or crying but either way they seem crazy, let’s walk faster.” Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling. Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it’s different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don’t worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying. I believe with all my heart and soul that even if we try the teeniest tiniest bit we can make this world a much happier and healthier one. And if we try even harder, we can do some pretty spectacular things. I know sometimes it seems like a world that has a blanket with sleeves can’t get any better, but I think it can.”
And now I present you with my top four favorite Ellen clips!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!! Click them. Watch them. Love them.